IndexConcrete experienceReflective observationsAbstract conceptualizationEvaluationI had selected an experience that took place last year in my residence in Kuala Lumpur. This incident involves a big fight between me and one of my roommates. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay My approach to this experience will be similar to Kolb's Learning Cycle. Kolb's learning cycle explores the cyclical model of all learning from experience through reflections, conceptualizations, then active experimentation (action) and further experience (http://reviewing.co.ul/research/ experiential.learning.htm). In this article, I will reflect on what my feelings are towards this incident, how I have analyzed my feelings in relation to my family's upbringing and sociocultural standards, as well as how I will interpret the event from my roommate's perspective. Then, I will identify the issues that my experience focuses on and link to what others have written about those issues. Finally, I will identify my learning outcomes and weaknesses through this experience. Concrete experience It was around one o'clock on Saturday afternoon. I was lying on my bed. The sun was high in the sky and the sunlight was shining on my face through the window. I looked at the clock and was shocked to realize how late it was. When I came out of my room after cleaning my face, I saw two of my roommates muttering to each other with unhappy faces. Rachel, the youngest among us with straightened hair, turned to me and said, "Alice, Gerald hasn't put out the trash in days and it's full of worms now! Also, he changed the arrow to point to MY name! How could he do that? He almost cried. Our house rule is that we each take turns throwing out the trash in a sequence. If one person has thrown out the trash, they will change the arrow on our "task board" to point to the next person's name, indicating that it is their turn to throw out the next bag of trash. As the leader of the house, I went into the kitchen and was shocked to see the puddle of little yellow garbage worms covering the garbage bag. Some are even on our food shelf! It was disgusting. I went and knocked on Gerald's door. When he opened the door, the smell of his cigarette smoke came out of his room. The smell was so thick I coughed. I wonder why he never opens the window every time he smokes. "Gerald, could you please throw the garbage in now? Because the bag is already full of worms. By the way, you shouldn't have changed the arrow since you didn't." You didn't do your duty." I said quietly to this moody, introverted boy. Unexpectedly, what I received was angry, rude feedback full of "dirty" language, saying that he knew it was his turn and that he was planning to throw out the garbage later, and that he was just changing the arrow in advance. I was shocked by his reaction but I remained calm and asked him to throw out the garbage because I wanted to clean the kitchen. Instead of doing what I requested,. he mumbled something and slammed the door in my face! I felt embarrassed. No one has ever slammed a door in my face. I gave myself a minute, standing there to cool down in the living room they looked at me with shocked faces. The house was extraordinarily quiet at that very moment. After a while, I knocked on his door again. “WHAT?!?! I told you I wouldlaunched LATER! Don't you understand what's AFTER? Fuck you!" I was horrified! This wasn't the first time he had behaved rudely. That's all! This went too far. I tried to talk nice to him and here he was pouring rudeness and "vulgar" language on me. I felt disrespected as the leader of the house. I shouted back at him with a face as red as a tomato and that was it "World War III" by telling him to throw away the garbage immediately and telling him that if he is dissatisfied, he can leave the house, I ended the argument and I am. went to my room, slamming the door behind me. Reflective observations In addition to anger, my feelings towards this incident are depression and contempt. As I reflected on why I felt, I identified two areas that may have influenced my feelings :- my family upbringing and socio-cultural environment in my hometown I stayed with my grandparents in Lawas since my mother gave birth to me until I was six years old, while my parents worked in Brunei Darussalam. My grandfather is a respectable person in Lawas. I grew up in an environment where every action and movement is monitored. I was taught how to sit, walk, eat and speak in a correct and sophisticated manner. At my grandparents' house, shouting, inappropriate language or manners are not allowed. I never saw my grandparents get angry, not even when I broke one of my grandfather's favorite antique vases. This eventually turned me into a guy with good mannerisms and good control of my temper. As my grandfather always said, "Peace brings prosperity." As a result, I never raise my voice even if I'm angry at someone and I don't even like it when people do it at me. When I was 7 years old, my parents took me to Brunei Darussalam to stay with them. Like Malaysia, Brunei is an Islamic country. However, the people over there are very different from the Malays. Their Islamic culture is very strong and most of them show great courtesy towards the people around them and are very polite. Growing up in such a culture and way of socializing, it becomes difficult for me to accept people with Gerald's kind of behavior. All this time, I tolerated his yelling and bad behavior. This is because my upbringing made me allow him to do so. Maybe that's why he did it repeatedly because he thought I was a characterless person. Another reason could be that you try to release stress at work through anger. However, this time I lose patience and reply. So, I have to analyze and understand why I allowed him to do this repeatedly but suddenly burst into anger. Abstract Conceptualization This experience touches on issues of religion, family upbringing, and anger (emotion). There are many definitions of religion. According to Emil Durkheim, religion is a social institution involving beliefs and practices based on a conception of the sacred. He suggested three main functions of religion: social cohesion, social control and offering a comforting sense to the vulnerable human condition that has a greater purpose (Macionis JJ, 1999: 481-483). As I reflected on my accident, I realized that I forgot the second greatest commandment in the Bible, which is “you shall love your neighbor as yourself” (MARK 12:31). I should, therefore, love him as I love myself. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on him even if it was unreasonable. In fact, I should decrease my hatred and anger, just as it is written in the Bible: "Love does not hurt a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law" (ROMANS 12:10). Then, there is my family upbringing. The family is the most influential socializing force at the center of children's lives. The familyhe will convey to children what he considers important in terms of skills, behaviors and attitudes. They also convey social position to children which places them in society in terms of race, ethnicity, religion, and class. These elements will eventually become part of the child's self-concept. Although some of these may change, social position at birth influences children throughout their lives (Macionis JJ, 1999: 132-123). Therefore, the way I was raised and other various elements such as attitudes, values ​​and beliefs that my grandparents and parents passed on to me have a great influence on me. As I said before, my grandparents' popular verse is "Peace brings prosperity." That's why I let Gerald act that way repeatedly and he never responded. Anger is one of the elements of the Theory of Emotions. There are numerous theories of emotions such as the James-Lange theory and the Lazarus cognitive theory. According to the James-Lange theory, emotions are specific feelings caused by changes in physiological conditions related to autonomic and motor functions (http:// plato.stanford.edu/entries/emotion/). It is proposed that people experience emotions if they are aware of their internal physical reactions to events, such as increased heart rate or blood pressure (http://www.a2psychology.com/a2z%20guide/emotions.htm). When Gerald yelled at me and slammed the door in my face, I felt my heart rate increase. This awakened my physiological level to a certain level. When he scolded me for the second time, I felt that I was in an uncontrollable situation and I flew into anger to hide my fear of him. However, a problem with this theory is that it fails to provide an adequate account of the differences between emotions such as anger and fear, and attempts to treat emotions as brute facts. Emotions can be not only explained, but also justified: they are closely related to the reasons that give rise to them (Taylor. G, 1975: 79). James's theory also overlooked the fact that emotions involve evaluations. Richard Lazarus (1991) argues in his theory (Lazarus' Cognitive Theory) that appraisals are necessary for emotions and sees the identity of a particular emotion as completely determined by the appraisal patterns that give rise to it (http://plato. Stanford edu/voices/emotion/). His theory is compatible with what Averill (1982) wrote about anger. According to Averill, anger is a conflictual emotion linked to aggressive systems and social life, symbolization and self-awareness. (Strongman KT, 2003: 133-134). He distinguishes conflicting emotions from impulsive emotions and transcendental emotions, which involve a collapse of the boundaries of a person's self-esteem and accepted standards of control. Reflecting on my experience, I realize that I became angry because I felt humiliated when he yelled and slammed the door in my face in front of the other roommates. His behavior had exceeded the limits of my self-esteem. When he yelled at me for the second time, I decided physiologically that this was out of my accepted standard of conduct. Therefore, I burst into anger and raised my voice against him. In another analysis of anger by Lemerise and Dodge (1993), they proposed that anger serves a number of functions such as the regulation of physiological and psychological processes related to self-defense and mastery (Strongman KT, 2003: 134). I found their statement very apt to describe both me and Gerald. I got angry because deep down I realize that his attitude has become brutal. So, to defend myself, I chose an alternative way of expressing it, showing him that I'm angry, with.