Written in a didactic style, "All About Love" blends self-help with moral philosophy. As a feminist cultural critic, bell hooks asserts that love is possible in American society despite today's culture of narcissism and selfishness. He tries to convince his audience how to return to the true meaning of love to live in a culture where love can flourish. Love can also have enormous social effects as it is “fundamental to our survival as a nation”. In Hook's book, men have a tendency towards sexist gender roles and "patriarchal thinking". His goal is an instrument of social change through his point of view on love. In this article I will discuss how community (extended family, friendships, etc.) is just as important as the “couple” itself or family units because love only comes from painful truth-telling; desire may depend on illusion, but external sources have a different perspective than the simple thrill of attraction; love involves work and dedication, but going to work and making money have replaced the core values ​​of love and community (a concept, Hook says, that should be reversed). Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay From Hooks' perspective, women are taken by surprise as most men use psychological terrorism as a mechanism to make women feel inferior. In this way, women have little hope of pursuing happiness as they keep men nearby “to take care of all their needs when in reality women are in a constant state of longing, longing for love but not receiving it.” In the first chapter of her book, Clarity: Give Love Words, Hook claims that women give too much love. “We must understand love as the will to cultivate our own and another's spiritual growth because love and abuse cannot coexist. By definition, abuse and abandonment are opposites of nurturing and care." Men are raised to be more fascinated by their sexual performance/satisfaction rather than to be capable of giving and receiving love. Many men, according to Hooks, resort to violence to silence their partner as a way to avoid witnessing emotional vulnerability. As a result, these men turn away from true love and value relationships where they are able to hold on emotionally (when and how they want) while still receiving love from another person. Related to the way some men behave, women are also afraid of intimacy; but the main difference between the two sexes is that women are more interested in finding a partner regardless of how suitable he may be. From this arises a gender arrangement in which men are able to satisfy their emotional needs while women, on the other hand, remain deprived. Men are given a higher position which coincides with the patriarchal insistence on their superiority over women. This gives them the idea that they are better suited to dominate others. In chapter six, Values: Living by an Ethic of Love, Hooks states that “awakening to love can only happen when we let go of our obsession with power and domination; men need to learn liberality and 'the joy that comes from service'”. Continuing from the discussion in chapter six, “culturally, all spheres of American life – politics, religion, the workplace, families, intimate relationships – should and could have their foundation as an ethic of love. The values ​​underlying a culture and its ethics shape and inform how we speak and act.” What Hooks is looking forto say is that “an ethic of love presupposes that everyone has the right to be free, to live fully and well”. “Commitment to an ethic of love transforms our lives by giving us a different set of values ​​to live by.” Living by an ethic of love can help many individuals learn to value loyalty and commitment to lasting bonds over material advancement. While pursuing a career and earning money remain important goals, they never take precedence over valuing and caring for human life and well-being. Living ethically ensures that the relationships we encounter in our lives (even with strangers) fuel our spiritual growth. Hooks also mentions the opposite view: behaving unethically (without thinking about the consequences of our actions) is like eating a lot of junk food. Even though it may taste good, our bodies don't get the proper nutrition from it and are still in a constant state of lack and craving. In general, “our souls feel this lack when we act unethically, behaving in ways that diminish our spirit and dehumanize others.” Furthermore, in chapter four, Commitment: Let Love Be Love in Me, M. Scott Peck states that commitment is innate in every loving relationship. Anyone who truly and sincerely cares about the spiritual growth of another being knows, consciously or instinctively, that only through a relationship of constancy can he significantly promote that growth. “The commitment to telling the truth lays the foundation for the openness and honesty that is the heartbeat of love.” Once a person identifies who they are and accepts themselves, the foundation for the necessary self-love is built. As humans, we are born able to respond to treatment. As we continue to grow, we can give and receive attention, affection, and joy. Being in the presence of a loving environment ultimately determines how we love ourselves and others. Self-love will not flourish in isolation. Hooks pointed out that many people find it useful to critically examine the past, particularly their childhood, in order to trace their internalization of the messages that they were not worthy, not enough, that they were crazy, stupid, monstrous, etc. having acquired feelings of worthlessness rarely allows us to change things; however, this process does not guarantee personal recovery (by examining negative thoughts and behavioral patterns). In chapter two, Justice: Love Lessons in Childhood, Hooks noted that childhood experience is important to the adult experience of love because the family is “the original school of love.” Affirmation, however, can help restore emotional balance. Taking responsibility means that despite barriers (racism, sexism, homophobia, etc.), we still have the ability to invent our lives, to shape our destinies in ways that maximize our well-being. “Every day we practice this shape-shifting to cope with realities that we cannot easily change.” Being “self-affirming” includes being willing to stand up for yourself while openly being who you are. You must treat yourself with respect in all human interactions. “Sexist socialization teaches women that self-affirmation is a threat to femininity. Accepting this faulty logic lays the foundation for low self-esteem.” In chapter eight, Community: Loving Communion, Parker Palmer states that “community cannot take root in a divided life. Long before the community takes on external form and appearance, it must be present as a seed in the undivided self: only when we are in communion with ourselves can we find community with others". Communities support life – not just “couples” or family units. M.”..