The first time I saw you, I thought you were younger than us. But you already knew this. The second time I wasn't so lucky. The second time I saw your ridiculously mischievous smile I was a little stunned. You asked me why I was photographing everything I saw. And I think I lost something precious of mine the moment I laid eyes on you. At the same time I gained something about myself that I didn't know I had. I thought it would be easier to write this to you. Since I was preparing for the moment, I ruin our friendship for a long time. But sitting here, trying to think of everything I still have to say to you. I can't explain the emotions swimming in my mind, threatening to slowly drown me from the inside. Yes. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay This is completely turning into a poem. So that's not my intention. Look, I know what's going to happen when I give you this letter. That's why I've been putting this thing off for so long. Two years to be precise. And I understand why you will reject me. You've been doing it unconsciously since day one. I know you aren't dating and I understand why too. I know you don't like me like that. At all. And you probably never will. You like Simoné. He was your first big crush, right? It breaks my heart. . But I have to get it out of my stomach. I love you, okay? I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm in love with you. I think I have been since the day I met you. The second time. Ok, fine, that's not entirely true. I didn't know I loved you like this until recently. But I do it anyway. I didn't ask for it, it just happened. And I guess it's not even your fault. It's mine for letting my guard down. For so long I denied how I felt about you because I knew you don't feel the same. But it's there, and there's no turning back now. You're my best friend in the whole damn world. I can't remember a time when you weren't there for me. A time when you didn't take the time to listen to my ridiculous stories or make me feel better when I was having a bad day. It's only been two years, but I feel like I've known you forever. Yet not a day goes by without me learning something new about you. I've never felt this way about anyone else in my life. Not even the person we won't name. Never. It's the little things about you that capture my heart every time. Like the way you deal with little kids. Or the way you tell me not to worry about anything, because everything will be fine. The way you try again and again and again to teach me how to dance and even though I never get it right, you still don't give up. The way you dance like there's no one else around. The way I can tell when your smile is fake and when it's not. The way you always ask me how I'm doing makes me feel better when school is horrible. The way you get excited about My Little Pony, Adventure Time, or something you love. The list is endless. You let me live. Before you came into my life, I wouldn't even think of doing half the things I did with and for you. You make me face my fears, conquering them even if I'm terrified. As if I finally told you all this. I'm scared, Sims. I'm so afraid of what will happen after you read this letter or after I tell you that I can't breathe. I'm terrified of losing you. The scariest thing is that as I write this, the only thought running through my head is "I love you, I love you, I love you." Like a scratched record. Remember all those times I argued, teased you, and got emotional over nothing? I was trying to forget you. I tried to tell myself that you were an asshole who didn't care, a horrible person whoIt will break my heart because that's just how it is. That just drags me by a thread, dragging me along only to disappoint me when you leave again. When I don't talk to you or see you, it's easier to pretend. But time and time again you prove me wrong. Because you are not that person. Not even close. You didn't even realize you were deceiving me. My heart was just too stupid to realize that you are like that with everyone. I told you I didn't like it when you put me on your shoulders, or teased me about my height, acted annoyed when you tickled me, or leaned on me because I felt guilty because I secretly I loved him. I'm sorry, I always hurt your feelings. I guess it's just my way of trying to hurt you just like you hurt me, unknowingly. It's not an excuse, it's just a way I thought I could get over you faster. The problem is that it is impossible to forget you. It's ridiculous, right? You probably pity me so much right now. I pity myself, I really do. This is really embarrassing. Probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever done. Writing a "love" letter to someone who doesn't feel the same. Falling in love with my best friend. I'm actually telling my best friend how I feel, even though he's been subtly trying to reject me for two years. I'm completely ruining this, aren't I. I'm sorry, I'm ruining our entire friendship with my ridiculous feelings. I just have to tell you. Anything. I can't hold anything back anymore. I know you don't want to know all this. But I have to get it out of my stomach. Do you know why I love Owl City so much? Because it reminds me of you. Do you want to know why I get so crazy sometimes, sending random messages or voice notes that you really don't want? Because I want you to be part of my life. I want you to know what's happening that's funny or sad or makes me lose my mind. I remember the smallest things that happen when we are together. I'm going to pretend our first meeting didn't happen, because it doesn't matter if the only words we said to each other were "Hi." But when I met you, I knew I would fall in love with you no matter what. I'd rather not say the other thought that came up because it's just too embarrassing. It was a bit like a movie: they played Bright by Echosmith and the more I got to know you, the more true the lyrics were. When we washed the dishes together, when you tried to protect me from my Gremlin brothers, when you carried our dishes for me and I awkwardly dropped it from your hands but you just laughed and made fun of me for being clumsy. I think I knew even then that you would be a big part of my life. Hungry Heart is still one of my favorite songs, as I listened to it nonstop that long weekend in August. It's a stupid thought, but it hurts my feelings when I remember something you don't even know happened. Like when we went to McDonald's last year and you were telling me a story about how you fell down a slide or something and cut your hand. You showed me where you cut yourself, you just didn't show me your hand like you could have. You showed it to me on my hand. At the time, my silly old man thought it was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to me. Later that day, when we were in front of the garage door and I just wanted to go get the keys to open the gate before saying goodbye, you stopped me and asked me, with that pouty little face: "Don't you hug me?" I felt a little louder then. It's crazy how things can change in such a short time. When I first met you, you didn't hug anyone. You just ruffled my hair and said, "Baai." That New Year's Eve, when you hugged me goodbye, I was like this?