Topic > The perception of divorce in Hindu marriages

Marriage is a common practice among almost all cultures and religions in the world, and although the ceremonies and laws surrounding these marriages may differ from one culture to another, the concept is mostly the same; two people (usually a man and a woman) legally vow to spend the rest of their lives together. However, marriage does not always go as the couple planned and they may choose to end their marriage through a legal divorce. Here in America we are desensitized to divorce and I think it's safe to say that almost every person living in America probably knows someone who has been through at least one divorce. That said, not all cultures feel the same way as Americans about divorce. In India, and more specifically within the Hindu tradition, divorce is still more or less taboo today, and is not easily accepted by a community when a couple chooses to divorce. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay To better understand divorce in the context of India's most dominant tradition, it may be helpful to discuss before marriage. Marriage for Hindus, as for most people of other cultures, is a sacred union of two people uniting their lives and families. In Hinduism, marriage is an “essential Sanakara” (Sharma, Hinduism, Marriage and Mental Illness) for every Hindu. Marriage is an obligation of all Hindus so that the man and his wife can form a family, as it is believed that only those who have a family can be happy. A man and a woman (in Hinduism) are said to be each other's other half and once married they are said to complete each other. According to Sharma, there are three sacramental aspects of marriage under Hindu law. These three characteristics include the following: First, marriage is not to be used to satisfy a person's physical needs, but rather is intended for “the fulfillment of religious and spiritual duties. Secondly (and a key aspect of this essay), marriage is a sacramental union and therefore implies that the marriage is not dissolvable for any reason. Third, the union of marriage means the union of “soul, body and mind” and that the union is “not for this life only, but for all lives to come. Union is not only for this world, but also for other worlds.”[1] Not only is marriage important to Hindus for the above reasons, but it is also an important social aspect. Marriage is the basis not only for founding a new family, but also for uniting and establishing a relationship between the two existing families (that of the husband and that of the wife). Because of this importance of uniting two families, marriages between Hindus in India are almost always arranged by the parents of the couple and the children are expected to accept this. These types of marriages generally last forever despite the lack of say the parents give the couple. The main objective of a Hindu marriage is for the husband to keep his wife happy and for the wife to keep her husband happy. In this way the couple can start a family, have children and love them unconditionally. This keeps the family "united and prevents its disintegration" (Sharma, Marriage and mental illness). As S. Pothen explains in his essay “Divorce in Hindu Society”, when a couple gets married, both the husband and wife have the obligation to “adapt” their personal characteristics to better suit their spouse (Pothen, 381) . By making such adjustments, the couple is more likely to avoid divorce and other marital problems. If these rules are followed and the couple workshard enough, there is no reason why the marriage should end. Divorce in India is much less common than in the United States. Although a little dated, according to the 1981 census, nearly ten percent of American couples reported having divorced. In 1981 in India, the divorce rate was reported to be less than 1% (0.74%) for married couples between the ages of 15 and 44 (Amato, 209). While these numbers seem incredibly low, there are several factors that reveal the possibility of massive inaccuracy. One such reason why these numbers could be incorrect is due to the legality in the way divorces are granted in India. Unlike the United States, divorces in India are not granted by courts, but by a caste panchayat (council). Because couples do not go to an actual court system to obtain a divorce, no records relating to the divorce are kept, almost making it appear as if it never happened and preventing it from being seen in legal statistical records.[2] Other explanations for such numbers involve reasons due to social complications rather than legal action. Because divorce in the Hindu tradition is so looked down upon, many people simply don't report if they get divorced because they are afraid of the shame it could potentially bring not only to their families, but also to the community. For the same reason, many couples who fall out of love or simply no longer want to be together will separate, but never divorce. When this happens, the couple can still live together, but they will never “be together” like they used to. By using this form of separation, divorce statistics remain lower than they might have been if divorce had been more of an option. Despite all this, divorce is becoming increasingly common, although still little accepted in India and Hinduism in particular. In a Hindu marriage, when something goes wrong, divorce can become an option and sometimes an inevitability. In his excerpt “The Effectiveness of the Hindu Sacrament (Samskara): Caste, Marriage, and Divorce in Bengali Culture,” Ralph W. Nicholas helps us analyze some statistics on divorce in the Hindu tradition in the specific region of Bengal. Nicholas points out that although divorce in general is not very common, the divorce rate is very unevenly distributed from caste to caste. Due to the importance of the samskara of marriage, divorce in Hinduism is often considered irreversible and “unthinkable” as there is no way to reverse the rituals of the wedding ceremony, but it is still a reality for some couples.[3] According to Nicholas, divorce is much more common in lower castes than in upper castes or middle class castes. He states: “Moreover, marriages among the lower castes, where bride price is still usually paid (which is credited, in much utilitarian anthropological literature, with ensuring marital stability), end in divorce more commonly than those of any other caste” (Harlan, 144). While the above statements and claims are specific to Hindu divorce in Bengal, they are not all that different from anywhere else in the world as far as Hindu divorce is concerned. Before 1955, divorce was possible, but not necessarily probable. Even if divorce were possible, it would most likely have occurred at the request of the husband rather than the wife. In 1955, the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 was passed. According to the Act, it was stated that, “…both the husband and the wife have been given the right to obtain dissolution of their marriage by a decree of divorce for more than a reason specifically listed in Section 13" (Anoop, 4). The reasons specified in theSection 13 include the following: 1. The man or wife has sexual intercourse with someone other than his or her spouse; 2. The man or wife has converted to another religion; 3. The man or wife becomes "incurably mentally ill, or suffers continuously or intermittently from mental disorders of such a kind and extent that the applicant cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent."[ 4] This Hindu Marriage Act 1955 has brought great benefits to married couples who could no longer find it in their hearts to be together for one reason or the other by making divorce easier. Despite this, no-fault divorces were (and are) difficult to obtain since both husband and wife are obligated to agree on the divorce. As stated earlier, divorce is looked down upon for several reasons, a major one being the importance of the marriage ritual. This is also highly undesirable for the families of the divorcing couple, due to the shame and embarrassment this brings to them. Although divorce is embarrassing for both the husband's and wife's families, it is worse for the wife's. Along with the acceptable grounds for divorce outlined in Section 13 of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, Sriya Iyer outlines “acceptable” reasons for seeking divorce specifically for women. These reasons are: if her husband is "bad", if he has gone abroad permanently, if he is guilty of high treason, if he is dangerous to his wife, if he has become an outcast or if he has lost sex. drive or masculinity (Iyer, 31-32). While this list seems reasonable, filing for divorce under any of these circumstances is still not considered adequate grounds. The way it is viewed in Hindu tradition is that a woman should never divorce her husband for any reason, regardless of the reason. . If a divorce is granted, whether it is a no-fault divorce or a fault-based divorce (the “fault” is that of the wife or husband), the divorce is still generally considered to be the woman's fault. An example of this would be a woman filing for divorce from her husband after he has been unfaithful to her or has consistently abused her. In the case of the cheating husband, the wife is still considered guilty. Common reasons that will be given as to why this was her fault include the belief that the woman is not “laying out” enough for her husband or that she is not attractive enough. In the case of the violent husband, it is widely believed that the woman is to blame because she must do something wrong to instigate her husband; a husband who beats his wife is not wrong because he keeps her in line. The divorce will be granted, but the fault will always be with the woman. In modern times, as the educational level of women increases and as the number of feminists increases, there is a fear that the right to divorce will become even more “liberal” and that divorce will eventually become even easier to obtain and at the same time more acceptable. This concept of reclamation is considered “dangerous” due to the fact that with more lax divorce laws and more educated women, the traditions of the Hindu family dynamic are likely to change or be altered in one way or another (Shrama, 125 ).A couple who divorces most often returns to live with their parents (the man returns to his family and the woman returns to hers). Both men and women who are victims of divorce receive support from their families. Even if both the husband's family allows him to return to their family and the woman's family allows him to return to their home, the two scenarios are not the same. In the scenario where the man returns to live with his family, he is welcomed back with open arms and receives emotional support..