The plot of line three has been changed to garden. The sentiment was changed slightly in line three because while plot means “A small piece of land set off for a purpose such as building or gardening” (oxforddictionaries.com). A garden is more specific. This is land reserved for the use of vegetation. Therefore, the garden gives the poem a greater sensitivity to nature. Line four has three changes. The first of which is to turn rain into precipitation. The author's use of names is better; as rain looks natural and precipitation looks more scientific. The author's choice of greenery was better than my choice of greenery for the same reason as the last edit. Green has a more natural than vegetal connotation. The last change in line four was replacing the prepositional phrase “they went” with “they withdrew.” The phrase “they retreated” gives the feeling that something has slowly escaped. However, the phrase “they are gone” simply states that they are/are no longer